I have so much to write, so much to share, so many stories to tell. I turn forty three in thirteen days and this year I have found myself thinking about these forty two earth years.
What a blast! From just a wee girl, new in South Africa, born Rhodesia. I cruised through primary school with a happy bunch of kids. We rode our bikes, swam all day and lived in every moment of every day. School was a jol.
I cruised through most of high school and then discovered the world of music, artists, best friends and of course boy friends. I found love, i lost it, i made new friends and lost few along the way. I fell in love with life and head over heals with a boy. I rebelled against rules and the norm.
At seventeen my life changed . My journey was now with my baby. School, college, day jobs, weekend jobs and then 'ploop', like a pebble, I plopped into the corporate world.
Finance, banking, career, corporate, clock watching, high heels, nails, hair, long days, short nights... I married at the age of twenty one. I though back then , that it was the right thing to do. Thats what everyone else did. Boy was I wrong!
Widowed at twenty six, a single mom again and now career driven.
Career changes, training, upskilling, being that ideal woman. Boy was i wrong. A move to the Cape where I became mom to my second daughter. A failed relationship and back to the familiarity of Jozi. More career stuff, long days, sore feet and doing my best to be that great mom to now two girls.
Time passes and I make peace with my life. Its okay to be single, its okay to be a single mom of two, career driven, in debt and actually quite lonely.
A random night out with my buddy and there I meet the man of my dreams. Not believing much in love at first sight by now. Not too keen to be I am dunked into a pot of pure bliss. Love , light, safety, happiness. Everything I really did want. My world opened , my soul filled right up. The first time ever in my thirty two years, my world shook.
My son was born. My world shook again and again. I changed. My life was now complete.
My focus changed, I wanted to find a way to escape my corporate addiction. I knew that my life was to change, my soul stirred and my thoughts were no longer focused on money, success or status. Without hesitation, retired my services from the corporate beast, gave up my salary of R39 000 and gave away every item of corporate wear. I took a giant leap of faith with this beautiful human right by my side.
The last seven years have taken us into the most humbling places. Places that only a few get to see. Places where the silence shakes your core, where the skies are picture perfect, drenched in colour and life. Places that allowed me to shed the person I became. On my knees , knowing that my journey was changing, my life was taking a new path.
With change comes so much new. Shedding forty kilograms of my body was the most amazing experience. Ripping all of my personal self apart in the middle of the Caribbean was something else. Living and learning while surrounded by such gorgeous humans. Some a tad crazy but we are all a little crazy.
Today I look back in time as I approach my forty third earth day birthday and all i can do i smile. I smile because every single day has been worth it. I have cried, i have laughed, i have fallen, i rise, i live, I've hated and i love. Surrounded by an energy that is so powerful, submerged in life as I want it to be.
Today I know myself, i love myself and i live in the moment. Some days it is all about me. A little older, a little wiser. Proud of me.
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